Sunday, February 26, 2006

Too much too drink!
A friend told me this story tonight, it happened quite a few years ago. He was working in a fine dining restaurant and was the manager. It was a very busy Friday night, right in the middle of the busiest period, a man had a heart attack at the table and died. His wife was at the table with him and was a nurse. He didn't want to make a scene and bring in a stretcher into the dining room and upset all the other diners, so with the wife's permission, he and the barman propped the man up on either side and carried him outside, as they were passing other diners, they yelled out, its ok he has just had too much too drink.

A lady came in with a friend and her dog for dinner tonight (we don't allow dogs in the dining room but we do in the bar area) and she ordered three Sirloin steaks, one for each of them including the dog, priced at £14 each. The waiter asked her how would the dog like his steak cooked and she replied medium-rare. The steak was woofed down in seconds.

A colleague of mine was working the other night, he was attending a table of four people and had just finished clearing their main course plates, when he returned from the kitchen, he noticed that the woman that was sitting at the table a minute ago was now lying on the floor and seemed unconscious. The other three people at the table were having a conversation and did not seemed concerned that their friend had passed out on the floor, but he was and went to the table and asked if she was alright. One man replied don't worry, we are both doctors.
Apparently they couldn't diagnose her and it happens regularly, so they just leave her and within a half hour she wakes up and is fine.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006


Over the years, time and time again, people walk into a restaurant, notice that its busy and they may not get a table, so they scan the restaurant and then seat themselves down at a dirty, uncleared table. I find this outrageous. Do these people ever think to ask the manager or a member of staff if the table is available? It may be booked, or someone else may be queuing for that table? It also has to be cleared and reset. Timing is crucial during service and sometimes tables aren't available because the kitchen or floor staff cannot cope with the influx of people and to keep their standards, start spacing orders and reduce the amount of people they allow in to dine. Then there are the people that don't have a reservation and ask you for a table and when you reply with 'The restaurant is fully booked', they waltz into the dining room and notice that there are vacant tables and start demanding those. "But there is no-one sitting at that table". Yes, but the table is reserved and there will be in 15 minutes and you can't have a maincourse and eat it in 15 minutes. People can get quite aggressive and try to bully you. The simple fact of the matter is that if you do start to do this, - FACT- YOU won't be getting a table. Get real. Get some manners. Phone for a reservation.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006


Tonight at work, I delivered a beautifully prepared fillet of salmon and was then asked immediately for tobasco sauce. One word.
Philistine. Why pay money to ruin a perfectly cooked meal? Why eat out? How can you taste the subtle flavours the chef has prepared if you cover it in tobasco sauce? Surely take a bite first and then decide what your dish may need. This advice goes to people that salt and pepper there food before taking a bite too. Do you not realise that your food is already seasoned?

Thursday, January 26, 2006

You are sole

A friend of mine told me this story, the manager of the restaurant he worked at disliked the behaviour of a woman because she removed her shoes at the dining table everytime she came in for dinner. The manager thought this sacreligious and decided to teach the woman a lesson, so the next time she came in, she waited until the woman removed her shoes and then picked up one shoe and placed it in the ice-cream freezer. When the woman asked for the bill, the shoe was returned back under the table. The woman put her shoe back on and wondered why her shoe was so cold. The next time she came in, she removed her shoes again, so the manager kicked the shoe, sending it sliding into the bar area, when it was time for her to leave, she couldn't find her shoe and asked the manager where it could be to which the manager replied "Madame, Are you sure came in wearing them?

Monday, January 23, 2006

The shit we have to put up with...

This a true story and although its disgusting must be told, because I want to share with you what we have to put up with in our workplace...A woman sitting at a table of four ordered a plate of garlic cloves (at least a dozen). Throughout starters and main course, she continued to eat the raw garlic slowly by taking small nibbles. I approached the table with their main courses and the smell was putrid. It was unbearable, the smell of garlic mixed with something indescribable was oozing from every pore in her body. I don't know how her fellow diners could bear sitting at the table with her. After they finished dinner, I saw the woman enter the ladies room. When she returned she promptly asked for the bill and left quickly. What was in store for us in the ladies bathroom was unimaginable and completely disgusting. If you think you can't handle what is to follow do not read on.
Upon opening the bathroom door, a horrific sight was before me, someone had defecated and had completely missed the toilet, it was all over the toilet seats, the cistern, sprayed up the walls both sides and the back wall. How could this happen? How could one person be capable of such a mess? The stench of garlic was unmistakable. Now, I wonder who was responsible?

Friday, January 20, 2006

Oh ,Connoisseur of Wine

There are people out there that seem to think that when they have selected a wine and it is brought to the table for tasting, that, it is being tasted to see if they like it or not. No, you cannot send it back if you don't like it, the bottle has already been opened.? Why should the restaurant pay for your mistake, because you don't know the difference between Syrah and f...... MERLOT? (sideways) You only can send the wine back if it is corked or tainted or off. It is your responsibility to know your wines. Take the time out to know your grape varieties. Try a selection of wines by the glass, so you know what suits your palate and to avoid further embarrassment.

Thursday, January 19, 2006


Whole Fish! An increasing number of people nowadays ask for the heads to be removed from the whole fish, so their beady eyes don't have to stare at them whilst eating. Think about it! Why are you eating something you can't stand the sight of? How can YOU stand, picking the flesh, off the bones? What's the difference? You are in serious denial of where your food comes from. Don't order whole fish if you can't handle the head. Order a fillet instead. Better stil, go vegetarian!